Pre-Approved Veteran Status

16 June, 2004 at 12:50 pm (uncategorized)

My First Certificate of Consideration“Bob” sent me a large manilla envelope yesterday asking me if I was “taking full advantage and getting all the available benefits of [my] status as a war-time veteran”. Apparently “[t]he benefits are unbelievable!”

Well, considering that I’ve never been in a branch of the service — helpfully delineated for me (just in case I forgot due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Manchurian Candidate Syndrome) by cutesy little stickers on the outside of the envelope — and therefore never served during war-time, I’m not sure I have been taking advantages of my fictional status! What a fool I have been. The only side-benefit of being a “war-time veteran”, which I was somehow able to work out even though the United States wasn’t technically at war with anyone during the period I was between the age ranges of Selective Service, I’ve only luxuriated under the advantageous hotdog availability at the local Legionnaire’s Hall on Memorial Day. O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!

I’m definitely framing my Certificate of Nomination at once! Without delay! I only hope that not being a veteran won’t prevent me from taking advantage of these fine, fine veteran perks.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: